*I'm a little late on this one. But between school and work orientation I'm stretched too damn thin*
I was planning on having a talk with my boy Sly. Well, this muhfucka pulled the okie doke on me and beat me to it. I was shocked. I mean, I didn't put it past him...but I know that we are both not the type to "make the first move" in this type of situation. With two people like us, we would have been in this limbo for years! LoL
Sunday night we went out to an early dinner because we haven't been able to spend as much time as we had liked lately. It was actually a very good time. We laughed like crazy and had the couple behind us laughing. Two twisted senses of humor are never good. LoL And as we were leaving Sly told me we needed to talk. Like most people, I got nervous as shit. Whenever someone says "we need to talk" I automactially think back to the movies where its never anything good. But it was quite the opposite. We got back to his place and got settled in and he just started going in. He mentioned that we've been kicking it for a while, been having sex, and all these other things but there is no clear definition of whats going on. I agreed. And he went on to say that we should make this thing we have going on official.
His voice was shaky, he was fidgeting with this hands...it was kinda sexy actually. I could tell he was genuine and hella nervous. I told hiim I felt the same way but I was scared to say anything. (Where that honesty came from beats the hell out of me). He started smiling and I could tell he was relieved...so was I. We actually stayed up and talked til about 2 AM. I had to be up for my first day of work at 8 so we had to cut it short. I actually slept with him (not sex). That's big for me. I can't sleep in the same bed with people, I don't like that closeness..the shit makes me uncomfortable. However, I did it that night.
So (dare I say it) I'm in a relationship. Typing that was almost as hard as saying it out loud. It has been years since I have been in a real relationship. No doubt I'm a little rusty at this shit. I'm not exactly sure what all it means and what all I would have to change. At least I haven't been fucking around, so I don't have to go through the head ache of cutting dudes off and shit like that. I wanna know what is a relationship to you? What are some of your "rules and regulations" with a true COMMITTED relationship? Any ADVICE would be greatly appreciated.
We could give you advice on it, but the bottom line is what makes a relationship for you & Sly -- and what does committment look like to you two? Does it involve not having sex with anyone else? What about seeing other people (dates)? Some are okay with an 'open' relationship -- others aren't. Just figure out what you want, what he wants, and go from there.
ReplyDeleteTo me dating/courting doesn't imply exclusivity, cuz we're just getting to know one another. Bu tif you take it to relationship, that means a committment to one another -- to see where we're going together. I wouldn't see or sex anyone else. Exes can be around as long as they respect me & my boo :-)
Good luck!
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ReplyDeleteCongratulations!
ReplyDeleteWhat is a relationship to me? Being in a mutual partnership with someone that is full of honesty, communication, and exclusivity. We're planning on making out partnership work so we can both grow together.
There are values and boundaries that i hold and do not compromise on. Monogamy is one of them. You cheat, you're gone. No second chances. I believe in being completely honest about one's feelings and not holding anything back. No grey areas. Communicate what's going on and how you're feelings so that we're both on the same page. Respect each other's thought processes and ways of going about things. If he wants to take the scenic route and we're in his car... then trees and shrubs it is. Follow through on promises or commitments and no flaking. Please do what you say you're going to do. The list goes on...
You already laid the foundation, time to build that damn house mister!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to the both of you. I haven't been on a relationship in soo damn long until I couldn't advise you of sh!t.......LOL!
ReplyDeleteHowever, UrsoVain and I share the EXACT same thoughts and I couldn't have said it any better.
Again congratulations to you guys. I'm getting a little misty. Feel like a group hug is in order......:o)
Congratulations to the both of you. I'm glad you both got to the point where you are comfortable sharing your life with another. As scary as that is. Have a blast is all I can say.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys. I know my biggest issue is gonna be getting back into the motions of having a significant other. Like most people, I'm used to it all being about me and not really having to accommodate anyone else in my plans. I like to consider myself very open minded and understanding, so its not too much I require from someone.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I do require monogamy . That is one thing that is not up for discussion. An "open relationship" is not a relationship at all. Its just two people who want a little stability but also want to freak off all the time.
I really hope this shit works.
Good luck man!
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