Major Changes

 (Aint that shit dramatic ^^^^ LoL)

So, I call myself being in this new " finding what makes me happy, letting go of the bullshit, fuck yo feelings" type shit right now.  Eventhough I haven't done anything crazy (yet) there is this weight lifted off of my shoulder already.  Cause this time next week I know shit will be different. 

I'm pretty much claiming to the end to the relationship bullshit.  I feel like I have sacrificed too much of myself and my damn sanity for this muhfucka.  No matter how many times I have told this asshole that the shit he does upsets me and I'm not feelin it...the shit doesn't change.  I mean damn, what do I have to do-knock the bastard "up-side" the head?! It seems like more and more his attitude is "be happy you're with me and I chose you, cause I'm a catch" he can miss me with that bullshit. I'm annoyed and tired.  And he knows its winding down.  He's been saying lil shit like " you aight, you been acting like you don't give a fuck" and "you mad about something".  And I told him what was up and he bascially acted like it was my fault I was upset.  I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but we're gonna have to chill out and have some time apart.

Like I mentioned earlier, the shit already feels better though.  Just knowing that I can let this stress and shit go is a good feeling.  Plus, I'm young, busy, not that bad looking, and I just want to have a little fun.  I have always been hard on myself.  I have never wanted to be labeled as a  "ain't shit n*gga.  I never went out much because I didn't want to be judged. I consider a C in a class failing, and I WILL take that muhfucka again. And shit like that.  I just want to enjoy myself.  Hell, at the new job alone there are two dudes and a chick I  KNOW are trying to get at me and another chick and dude I'm still trying to feel out.  I'm getting tired of missing out on people because I'm trying to be the "good guy".  Ya'll can have that shit. 

Man, I just want to call D and go chill with him, share a bottle of coconut ciroc and laugh at stupid shit.  That muhfucka gets me and he's humble. And I know I don't want to jump into relationship with him.  Not to mention...the sex is the shit.  This shit with Sly is gonna be interesting.  He wont' be surprised though...but that muhfucka will be a little pissed.