(A little jealously is okay every now and then....right?)
One thing I don't understand for the life of me, is an adult that cannot balance friends and significant others. It baffles me how some people can NEVER get the shit right. I understand that starting something new takes practice and certain changes have to be made, however, there is a limit. Yeah I know "friends were there before you got with them, and they will be there after". I hate that bullshit. While true, that phrase is super ambiguous. It fails to mention that you should have a balance of priority between the friends/family and your partner.
I have friends and I have romantic relationships. I'm not perfect at balancing them both at any means. But then again, who is? However, I like to think I do a good job at it. I at least make an attempt to make it equal. Is it too much to ask to have a little reciprocity in this matter? Sly is ridiculously bad at this shit. In his case it is his god-forsaken cousin These two muhfuckas are attached at the hip and the shit bothers me. His cousin "Micah" gets first dibs at all his time an attention. The worst part? I can tell Sly doesn't really wants him around as much as he is. He just doesn't know how, or when, to tell this muhfucka no. For example, if we have plans to spend the evening together at his place and Micah wants to come over or go out somewhere, our plans are put on the back burner. What the fuck?! It's so hard for him to simply tell Micah he has plans, or is tied up. He doesn't even have to tell him specifics. He can just tell him he's busy. But does he? Fuck no. This is one of the main reasons why I'm thinking of every possible con of this little pseudo-relationship thing we have going on. If I can't get a little priority in this bitch, we're gonna continue to have problems.
It wouldn't be so bad if it was just a few times, but every damn time. Sly is so scared of how Micah will react to this, that he unwillingly goes along with him all the time. Like the other night, we were grabbing a bite to eat about to go back home and Micah calls. Says he's about to come over and chill with us. We hadn't had any real chill/alone time in a minute, so it was important to me. Plus I was horny as shit. At least this time, although slight, he tried to persuade Micah to stay where the hell he was. Of course it didn't work. He bought his happy ass on over there and I clearly had resentment. About an hour in of dry conversation (on my end) and holding back I decided to get up and leave. I couldn't take the shit. Sly sat there and looked like a deer caught in headlights. As I get to my car I get this fucked up text message saying that "I'm sorry, just come back. he's about to leave...its my bad. Just bring yo ass back babe." The shit didn't work. I just text back "Maybe next time". I was too upset and my nerves were on edge.
I don't want to cause any friction between them too, but I also want my dude. Hell, if I can tell a some friends "not today" or "I'll get up with you later" you can too. I'm annoyed, horny, angry, and upset. And dare I say it....are my feelings hurt?! Don't I sound attractive right about now...ha.
Ooowee, dats a doozy... Especially if Sly isn't putting his foot down. Damn the talking, nigga tell yo pplz to skedaddle if u really tryna cut tonight. ('Scuze the ebonics, im drunk txtin...)
ReplyDeleteUh... has Sly ever had a dl relationship before? Dis sound kinda like the same ish im dealin with right now...
Hell, way I see it, reciprocity is the minimum...
--Cogito
(Btw, when dis popped up in my Reader, dat first pic of dat dude had me tryna hold my Burrito down... #Ugmo)
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ReplyDeletePseudo-relationship? That wasn't the first con? There should be nothing fake or ambiguous about it. Either you're together or you aren't. But that's just me.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what happened with his cousin, you've always since come back. So he probably thinks you'll just be upset for a little while and then you'll get over it and go back to wherever you left off before his cousin came around. You have a right to be angry. However, if you don't explicitly communicate how you feel to him he probably won't do anything. Be absolutely clear. Instead of saying "i dont like that your cousin is always here" say something like "If you would like to continue to date me, please find time for just the two of us. Otherwise, i will no longer wan to spend time with you." And then... stick to that assertion!
I know this is upsetting. Does his cousin have a relationship of his own?
ReplyDelete@Cogito- Sorry about that. LoL I tried to get the worst face could find. I have actually thought about using sex to fix this. Take it away if he doesn't fix it, or promise it to him if he gets rid of him.
ReplyDelete@UrSoVain- We talked about it briefly, but I don't want to give him and ultimatum...because I wouldn't anyone to do the same to me. However, its just not changing fast enough for me. My problem will actually be sticking to what I say. If I do tell him its either me or him, I fear I may still come around.
@thegayte-keeper-You know, thats the worst part. He is supposedly with his "baby-mama". But anytime he isn't with her, he's trying to be under Sly. This shit blows.
@Trey: That sounds problematic. I think ultimatums are the way to go because it lets you know exactly where you stand. No grey areas. If you can't stick to what you say then he will recognize that and continue to do as he pleases because he knows that no matter what he does... you will still be there. There will be no impetus to change and you can't get upset because you choose to still come around.
ReplyDeleteMy question would be "how bad do u want it"? If he really wants you, he ought to be able to make a few adjustments. Until then, CLINK CLINK!! ;)
ReplyDelete--Cogito