Hell, I don't know.

After spending a lot of time lately with D-Boy, I've been thinking about what all it would take to be in a relationship.  Not just with him, but anybody.  Like many people I am "stuck in my ways".  I'm so used to being single, I don't know how/if I can make the transition. 
My last real, significant relationship ended almost three years ago.  I've have a few since then that lasted a few months here or there. But those don't count, they were just to keep me busy. LoL But seriously, I've realized there is a hell of a lot that I would have to alter.  Here's a few I came up with really quick.

1. For example, I'm not accustomed to "answering" to anybody.  And by answering, I'm referring to keeping someone updated on my daily doings and comings and goings.  Like now, if D-Boy or someone else asked me where I was and what I'm doing I probably wouldn't entertain them.  However, I feel in a relationship you owe it to your significant other to answer these questions. Unless you're hiding something of course; but thats another story.

2. Your boy would have to do major, and I'm talking about MAJOR fucking house cleaning.  Fuck that, I may just have to change my number.  Not to make myself seem promiscuous (well, not that much anyway), but there are hella dudes texting and calling me weekly.  There are some I've fucked around with, some I haven't, some I want to, and some who don't stand a fuckin chance.  But honestly, I just enjoy some of their conversation, and I'm not afraid to admit that I like some of the attention.  I know, however, that this would have to change when it comes down to a relationship.  I know I would not be happy if my guy was constantly communicating with ex's, and ex fuck buddies....so I wouldn't want to do the same. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind dude having friends and some of those friends being ex's, but constantly talking to people who want to fuck you is not going down.

3.  The vulnerability!  Oh lord the vulnerability.  When I love, I love hard.  This shit is not a game to me.  All the bullshit that people try to make you fall for only irritates me.  I know everything is not perfect, and its no way its gonna be.  But, I also have enough common sense to know when someone is just playing around and don't love you like you love them.  Me loving hard has been a gift and a curse for me.  A gift, because the guys who I have been with know that I care about them and they never have to question it.  In return, they try their best to return it and it makes for a good situation.  A curse, because it makes it easy to get hurt after I've fallen for someone.  Also, because if my feelings, time, and attention isn't returned I feel like I've wasted my time.  And to me time is just as valuable as money.  I'll be damned if I waste either.

So I don't know if I can do it or not right now.  It just seems like so much fucking work.  I know anything worth having is worth fighting for.  But shit, I don't want to work for it....I just want it given to me. LoL  What else am I gonna do with my cake if I can't eat it?