* I'm selfish as fuck. Not necessarily with money or material things. More so with my time and attention. I'll mess around and make somebody feel unwanted. #Disaster
* I'm a busy lil muhfucka. I work full time, and I'm a full time student. On top of that I work nights and most weekends. I really just don't have time for yo ass. I hate that old saying "People make time for who and what they want." Bullshit. Sometimes there isn't anytime to make.
*It's gonna be hard to give certain dicks up...to be blunt. I like the freedom of knowing that I can basically fuck who I want, when I want, and not have to answer to anybody but myself. If somebody is acting up, I can just go to the next one.
* I'm too used to my freedom. I know a relationship isnt lock down, but it does come with some readjustments. I have to get used to a muhfucka asking me questions and actually having to answer them.
Eventhough this list may seen like a deal breaker, I think with the right amount of focus I can work.through these issues. I know some people spend a lot if time looking for some of the muhfuckas I have trying to get with me. I just need to man up.
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Suggestion: when you find someone that you'd like to be with (whether it's D-Boy or someone else); share this list with them as to why you're reluctant. They may be okay with working through it. No one is perfect - but they can be perfect for you & you for them.
ReplyDeleteCall D-Boy & tell him how you're feeling, bet he'll listen & may even surprise you! :-)
LOL - that's true. Even though he knows, no one really likes to have it confirmed...
ReplyDeleteYou'll probably need to talk to Red at some point too, since you're developing feelings for him as well. Honesty may hurt initially, but it's a lot easier than unraveling lies later...
And congrats for recognizing these feelings now - while you're young. You're much more aware and further along than you think ;-)
Sorry to get to this post late (I'm reading backward)but here is my two cents.
ReplyDeleteYou are only 21. Enjoy yourself (safely) now and explore what type of dudes you really like. I was late coming out and ran through a lot of partners but it schooled me on what I liked and what I didn't.
So when a good person came along I was ready to jump. And believe me when you meet the right guy all that good dick on the side will be irrelevant and you will be ready to play with just that person (unless you eventually mutually agree to have an open relationship or threesome together.)
@Immanuel- That would be the day. But sometimes it just seems like that will never happen.
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