The title is pretty damn accurate here.
I told my ignant ass self that I was going to "come clean" to a good friend of mine about my personal life. We're very close and he trusts me with a lot of shit....I mean ALOT of shit. I have always felt very guilty when I know I'm being dishonest with him. It makes me feel like a fucked up individual to be honest.
When the issue of love and relationships come up I always have to be vague and short with him...and this bastard notices. I always give a quick bullshit response and changes the subject. On top of that, he has hinted around it as well. I'm sure as hell he knows, or at least has an idea. However, I'm just not brave enough to just be compltely honest with him. Hell, VERY FEW people are aware of my true sexuality. And as I've said a hundred times before, I like it that way. Or so I thought.
Its not so muchI want him to know my sexuality, I just want to be honest with him...and thats part of being honest. I'm about 97.45% sure he knows and has known for a while...but no confirmation always leaves room for doubt. I was plannig on telling him this past weekend but I choked up and the shit wouldn't come out. I bitched out hard and it made me feel like shit after ward.
I'm just a punk...an attractive one, but a punk none the less.
