Monday, July 29, 2013

Gay Ass Ultimatum

I hate ultimatums, and always have...and my life is a constant, big fat one. 

Meaning, this being in the closet shit causes you to face some bullshit.  You know it's going to eventually come down to some "either-or" bullshit. At some point in your life you have to make a damn decision.  You're either gonna go with the gay bullshit, or go with the straight bullshit.  (Either way, life's a bitch is my point).  But we can all agree that the straight bullshit is just a little easier. That's why when we get to the fork in the road (left is gay, right is hetero) we go RIGHT.  Why knowingly take the harder road? 

This is when the closet life ultimatum comes showing its ugly, fuck ass head: Gay or Straight (when it comes down to settling down).

I'm still young, so the idea of settling down for life still seems very distant.  However, I still know the issue is coming.  I have my guy (D) and we're good, but as I've stated before it's gonna eventually come a time where we have to make a decision We're either gonna build a life together, or we're going to go our separate  ways and start a hetero life with wife/kids and shit. 

You basically have three choices
1. Live your life as a gay man
2. Live your life as a straight man
3. Live your life single, never settling down playing on both teams.

While we all the right to either one, it's safe to assume that number three seems to be a little more unstable.  So the ultimatum comes out showing it's ugly ass. I can't help but feel like I have to eventually make a decision, and deal with the consequences. At this time, I have no idea which way I'm going to go.  While the wife and kids seems to be the dream, I know I can't let men go.  But I also don't know if I can honestly deal with the social backlash of being openly gay in a public relationship.   

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A Prude????


 noun \ˈprüd\: a person who is excessively or priggishly attentive to propriety or decorum

I was recently called a prude.
I honestly can't say i disagree.  I have always had a greater sense of "cause and effect" than my peers.  I was always aware of possible consequences to my actions, and how I may be viewed because of them.  For example, when in high school a lot of my friends started smoking weed.  My scary ass was like "Hell Naw", not because I judged them for doing it, but because I knew it was illegal, my dad would have had a stroke, and the negative image of it.  I was still their friend, just didn't do what they did.  Even drinking, I had my first drink prom night (only a sip) and didn't try again for a few years.

Even with sex...I know I'm not that "freak" a lot of dudes may want.  I am very sexually open with my partner and will try different things.  I won't, however, go for things like exchanging of any body fluids beside cum and saliva.  Also, I don't subscribe to the notions that threesomes are the way to go in the gay world.  I wish D would fix his big lipped ass to ask some shit like that. I don't judge people who have them. Shit, I love watching them in pornos. However, I can't personally do it.

But I think I'm a good prude.  I'm not a judgmental one, or a hypocritical one.  I have friends from all walks of life.  I have hoe friends, stripper friends, thugs, drug dealers, mortgage brokers, nurses...etc.    I've done my share of bullshit in my little time on this earth, and don't regret shit. However, I don't like to share it ALL with people, and I have my limits.