Does it all stay the same?????

I have been known to have a lot of "Fuck It" in my system. Sometimes when it's necessary and sometimes it's too much.  I know it's not always the best to not give a lot of fucks, but I can't help it.  I was tested with this earlier this week.

I have an old friend (not fuck buddy/boo thing)  who is bisexual and he was one of my only gay/bi/dl friends, best friends really. We haven't really been close in a while due to him doing some fuck shit that I just couldn't forget enough to continue with the same friendship.  We had mutual friends, and we all live in different places now.  And after getting together with my big bro "Donny" when he came in town,  who knows him and lives in the same city...I heard some disturbing shit.   He was a little hesitant before telling me, but he finally spilled the beans.  My old friend (let's call him "Mikey) has been out there tricking off.  And by tricking off, I mean selling his body parts and sexual favors for money.  I couldn't believe that shit.  Honestly, it's not something I would have put past him...but not something I have ever though of him realistically doing.  I was immediately scared for him.  For the past couple of years my attitude towards Mikey has been "Fuck Him"...but now I feel he is in trouble.  I acted "hard" in front of Donny, like I didn't care and he deserves what ever he gets.  But in reality,  I rode back home in complete silence.  

Donny told me Mikey was advertising himself on various websites/phone apps and it was a CONSTANT thing.  He was offering services and wasn't mentioning protection.  It hurts, like seriously hurts.  Mikey is an extremely handsome, attractive guy who can probably have any guy he wants in a relationship.  I just don't know what would make him so desperate and what he can be going through to resort to having a fucking price list for "services".  I heard of this shit going on in the gay world,  but I never thought it would hit close to home. We come from similar families...HE DOESN'T HAVE TO DO THIS. His parents are more than able to help him, and they always have.  The last I remember, they had a great relationship.  

I just don't know what to do, if anything. I want to call him and help him somehow.  How?  I have no fucking clue.  But for one of the first times, the "fuck it" in my system is wearing off.  I feel like a horrible person, because I kinda threw him away after we had out disagreements and after he tried to work it out, I turned my back.  I don't know what to do.  Once again, excuse my random venting.  

I Ain't Shit....

There is just something about spontaneous sex that gives you a better not than the normal, planned shit.  And being with another guy just makes it that much fun/better. Sometimes when I get off work and out of class I want nothing more than to just be "taken".  SHIT!

Don't let the guy be waiting on you to get home, or you waiting on him to get home.  That build up makes for such a fucking experience.  You know I'm sneaky.  I'll start texting/sexting D freaky shit at 9 in the damn morning.  I want that dick hard all day.  I want that muhfucka to not think about shit all day but getting inside of me when he gets off work. Youh know how you start off with the "Good morning, have a good day" standard text...then the next thing you know you're sending a pic of you in some underwear.  He hates it, but loves it.  I will tease that bastard for 8 SOLID HOURS. Don't judge me.

One of the beautiful things about a relationship is what I like to call DOD...or Dick on Demand.  And when the guy is talented in that department, it makes it that much better.  For someone like me, whose sex drive is honestly not that high, when I want it...I WANT it. I send all that freaky shit and be at home waiting on him to get off work, ass clean and ready with no hesitation.  See, this is why I like dudes.  It's something about a man fresh off work, horny and wanting to take you down that I can't give up for a chick.  I've said it before, my black ass has to be able to submit to you....I don't like being in control all the time.

I'm actually in the middle of doing this right now.  I'm off work early and I am talking MAD SHIT in these text messages.  Come on 5 o'clock!!!!


 Yeah, I know I ain't shit.