Okay, try to follow me. I’m giving a disclaimer: This wording is about to be horrible. I have a lot of thoughts on this issue/topic…and will attempt to put them in some kind of order.
I think that parental influence/teaching transcends sexuality. More specifically, I have taken things I have learned from my father and applied them to guys. Unlike many young men, I was NEVER taught that a boy was supposed to go out and fuck around with as many girls as possible. I was taught that your body is precious and regardless of your situation you should treat it as such. I even witnessed my dad, while single, not live a promiscuous lifestyle. His lecturing was rarely religion based, but he did go into details of soul-ties and all of that. The horrible reality of STD’s and pregnancy were drilled in me. This type of mindset is more traditionally enforced for girls, more so than guys. But my point is, all this shit my dad has instilled in my head still sticks with me through all of this DL shit.
Let’s just keep it real and cut the bullshit, the DL/gay community is extremely, overtly sexual. We tend to promote and celebrate casual/recreational sex, orgies, open relationships, and even random hook ups. Ya’ll know I’m not lying, so I don’t want to hear it. Of course, I don’t mean ALL gay/DL men, but a vast majority of us. I’ve mentioned various times on how I don’t really understand the exaggerated sexual life of men who like men. I’m not one to judge, because we all know I’m no saint. I can still count all of my sexual partners on my two hands (with a finger or two left) but I’m no virgin and I have not been in committed relationships with all of my sexual partners. However, I think I consider sex a less casual act than many guys.
Although I am my own person, and lord knows I have rebelled against a lot of my dad’s teachings….I can’t help but “blame” him for it. Even though I have been exposed to this overtly sexual lifestyle, I have not fell victim to the pressure. I have literally had people tell me something is wrong with me because I’m not constantly on these hook-up sites and apps. I’ve even had a guy who didn’t want to get to know me because I wasn’t into having threesomes in a relationship…he couldn’t believe I wasn’t down for it. I don’t see what the big deal is with grindr, jackd, A4A, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve used them all…but didn’t really get the thrill. Hell, I used to think I was weird for not enjoying the “hook-up” culture of the DL world. It’s like I just can’t shake everything my dad has preached about. I mean, dick is good….but constant dick is better. The oddest part is, I don’t judge or think negatively about anyone who does participate in the casual sex/hook-up life style. If anything, I get upset when people judge them. I just can’t get jiggy with it.
I hate to sound preachy and hypocritical, but this was on my mind.