Forbidden Fruit.

(I really just want to say fuck it and do me. But this damn conscience of mine is a muhfucka)

I have this guy named "Sly" that I've been conversing with for quite some time now.  Never had sex, and don't plan to honestly.  Two sex partners (D and Red) are enough for the moment...more than that and I'll feel like a man whore. Basically, very nice guy.  He intrigues me, and not in just a sexual way, which is hard with me.  I have this gift and curse of detecting bullshit from a mile away.  With Sly, however, I don't see any.  This dude is feeling me and he is a perfect gentlemen (that shit sounds like it came from a female...fuck it.) He has expressed his interest respectfully and I have informed him of my situations.  He has always been very accepting of everything and all of my bullshit.  I know he is getting his rocks off from other places, but the attention is flattering and quite enjoyable I must say.  May seem kind of generic, but I love the situation. My mind always has to get fucked first. ;) 

All of shit he does is the shit D lacks now.  Don't get me wrong, I damn near love that dude but the reality of it is that he doesn't do much "wooing" especially now that he know he has me...so to speak.  I ain't looking for no wine and dine type shit, but a certain type of attention is appreciated.  We never had that kind of ol' school type of courtship shit.  We met, were interested in one another, had sex, started this dysfunctional ass pseudo relationship thing, and the rest is history. Plus, I just don't think D can really leave certain women in his life alone and I'm not completely sure he's secure in his sexuality to himself. And that is an issue for me.  I feel if I can sacrifice something, you should too.  Yeah, I know it isn't easy and not always possible but as far as a relationship goes....I can't get jiggy with that shit. Sly, however, he's very secure in sexuality. He isn't out or anything, by a long shot, but he can admit that he is bisexual and he could very well end up with a man as his life partner.  

Now about the title. (I know you're wondering what the fuck the title had to do with shit said in this post. LoL) Sly is the ex-boyfriend of my female cousin.  Yep, he should be completely off limits....by my own standards anyway.  But I can't deny what's there with him man.  Not saying I'm falling in love, or we'll even take it somewhere further.  But during my celibacy time (which was short but sweet) we had a surge in communication.  He is a very interesting guy.  My cousin didn't respect him though.  The bitch has problems...if you aren't a ignorant ass thug she can't handle you.  And Sly is the direct opposite...kind of like a preppy intellectual but real cool.  I know I have NO business messing with this dude, but fuck that man...I have a clear mind and I want to explore other options.  I think I'm so attached to D because I'm used to him being there, he's like home.  Like how my ex from my one real relationship was.* But we'll see how this goes.-



*I'll build up enough courage to write about him one day.