One of the biggest obstacles I have faced in this lifestyle is the never ending power struggle that takes place between two men. In a homosexual relationship there is a natural, for lack of better terminology….”separation of powers”. Meaning there is a clear distinction between the top and bottom. More specifically, the idea of submission and domination in the bedroom. For example, allowing someone to enter and penetrate you is slight submission…period. Also, penetrating and entering someone is having a little dominance over them. #Fact The problem comes about when this separation of power is taken outside of the bedroom. (Think clash of the Titans)
This problem comes from the need to try to imitate heterosexual relationships; where the bottom acts as the woman and the top acts as the man. That may be okay if your homosexual relationship involves a masculine guy and a more feminine guy. Whatever floats that boat of yours. However, when you have two average guys this shit becomes a problem. You often run into situations where the top attempts to run the relationship and treat the bottom like his woman. For example, he may want to make all the decisions, expect to be fed and cleaned up after, and expect the bottom to submit to his wishes in and out of the bedroom. (For the record, I know that not ALL tops are like this) Also, there are bottoms who expect to be wined and dined, taken care of, and other things reminiscent of a traditional woman in a relationship.
That shit doesn’t fly for someone like me. Being a man, even though I am a bottom, I expect to be treated and respected as such. But I have been in situations where tops don’t get it. Now don’t get me wrong, I respect the guys I have been with in regards to their sexual position. I respect there need and want to be “the man”. I know that sometimes I have to just let them have their moment. Like I said, its natural submission/dominance…it just can’t go overboard. I have touched on this in a couple of post about D-Boy where I’ve had problems with him taking control sometimes. (I’ve gotten better) I had to really sit down and talk with him about my feelings and opinions on the subject and he started to work on it as well. One thing a lot of tops don’t realize is just how they have natural desires as men to provide, protect, and to handle things…the bottom sometimes have these same desires seeing as though they have penis as well. Like I said before, if you have one of those masculine/feminine relationships you probably don’t have this problem. But if you are like me and your relationships consists of two average guys you must remember to respect your partner as the man he is. After all, him being a man is why you like him in the first place right? I would love to hear some others’ opinion on the subject.